I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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