Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Couch. On fire.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize