You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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