four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
