i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
