But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
where are my eyebrows?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
