how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
