You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
