Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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