C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
