Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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