Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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