I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
