the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
