just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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