I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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