you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
my liver is dry heaving
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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