Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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