I heard we made out
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize