I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my shit smells like andre
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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