You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
