Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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