I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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