Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
