i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
