Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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