Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
