what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
