Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
