There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
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She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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