No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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