awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We got so high we made milksteak
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He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
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I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The power of my boobs compel you
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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