Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
