Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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