fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
