My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
