So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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