You can't special order awesome
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
