Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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