Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize