bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
