I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
