I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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