Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize