And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I want to fling myself into the sun
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
