Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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