Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
