Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
