so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
