I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You ruined the universe
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
