If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
