Betty ford says i'm here all night
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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