I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
