the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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