I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
