His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
