Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
