ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
